The Question Challenge Pt 1 - Framing
The frame changes the game
I coach and train a lot of leaders and hear similar challenges.
* There's always too much to do and never enough time
* You want to be strategic, but you keep getting pulled in to fight fires
* You're exhausted at the end of the day, which makes it harder to do things differently the next day.
As leaders, we want to create a safe environment for our people to do their best work. We want to have influence. To leave a legacy. To make things better for the people who follow us.
But how do we do this when we're busy, overworked and overwhelmed?
It starts with changing the frame that governs how we think, feel and behave.
What is a frame?
A frame is the context we set around an issue. It gives everything else meaning and relevance.
Gail Fairhurst calls it the ability to paint a picture with words. And not just any picture, but the bigger picture.
A frame subtly changes what people think, feel and do - often without their knowledge.
For instance:
- If I say the word "red" in the context of a happy relationship, you might think love hearts and Valentines Day.
- If I say the word "red" in the context of an argument, you might think anger and a charging bull.
The word "red" didn't change, but you heard something different each time. The frame changed, and therefore the meaning changed.
Learning how to spot the dominant frame - and how to change it - is the most important leadership skill around.
Why?
Because she who controls the frame controls the conversation.
Use a friendly frame
As a leader or manager, you hold power over other people. Doesn't matter how nice or approachable you are, it's a fact of life as a leader.
As a result, the default frame for many of your conversations is one of performance. As in, your people are thinking: "Am I meeting my manager's standards? Am I good enough? Am I too much?"
To create a psychologically safe environment for people to share their ideas, questions and concerns, we have to set a new and more friendly frame.
Fortunately, it's not hard and doesn't take long. We can use phrases like:
- I’ve been thinking about our shared goal of… (this is a shared values frame)
- I’m interested in… (this is a curiosity frame).
- Let's zoom out... (this is a perspective frame).
These phrases unblock the barriers to a productive conversation. They open up your people's minds - building the psychological safety needed for them to contribute.
Til next time,
Paul